Reading, writing...that's what I do.

Love for the printed word, love and belief in ideas.

Adjusting to New Developments

November 18, 2024 5 Comments

Dear Readers: some of you have seen this piece, as it was posted last week…but most of you have NOT, because of a glitch in the mailing process. So thanks for reading.

Photos of the meal you’re eating, the dress you might buy, the garbage cans left out on a neighbors’ driveway, the rash developing on your face–all are examples of photos that will probably be deleted from your phone, after they have fulfilled their purpose. Because now, in the age of the cell phone, the ability to carry a camera has changed the way we think about photos, and how we use them. It was a new development in our society, but now it is common to almost everyone. But is that always a good thing?

A BOOK ABOUT FACEBOOK PHOTOS and MORE

In his book, TERMS OF SERVICE, Jacob Silverman, (who has been cited as a “thoughtful critic of our evolving digital lifestyles”) points out the negatives (excuse the pun) in our picture-snapping culture: “Photos become less about memorializing a moment than communicating the reality of that moment to others.”

He expands this idea, claiming that often the purpose of the picture is not to live in and capture the moment, but to deal with the anxiety we may feel at that moment–others doing things more interesting, more fulfilling than we are. Thus the photo has entered into a timeless competition. Silverman also believes that party-goers may forget about experiencing fun, preferring to get into a Facebook Photo that announces online: YES, I’M HAVING FUN. LOOK AT ME!

And I find it interesting, that in this current time (which will probably become even more frenetic and not disappear) we feel the need, NOT ONLY to send photos of all that we do, BUT we ALSO go somewhere to practice MINDFULNESS, to be still, listen to our breathing, so we can learn to live in the moment. REALLY? How ironic.

A BRIEF HISTORY OF THE PHOTO

So let’s take a step back, because before all of THIS, the constant need to capture an action or a moment in time and shout it to the world–there was the mind, there was thought. So can we look at it this way:

1. The purpose of a photo was to PRESERVE a human’s image: to help us know that person and to remember them. Previously, those with wealth sat for a portrait painted by either a really good artist or an itinerant one–but the job got done, and thus we know what Elizabeth the First of England supposedly looked like, as well as George Washington etc. You get the picture!

2. The purpose of a photo also became its ability to record history. Yes, there are paintings of battles, coronations, but they took months. Photographs were more immediate and allowed for a variety of views. Think Mathew B. Brady (May 18, 1822 – January 15, 1896) a photo-journalist, one of the first American photographers, whose name became synonymous with photos of the Civil War.

3. As the decades progressed, the daguerreotype and the tintype gave way to a process where a dry gel on paper or film, replaced the photographic plate, so a photographer could take photos without the boxes of plates and toxic chemicals previously needed. Film was developed by George Eastman, of Rochester, New York, in 1884. As early as 1888, Eastman’s Kodak camera was available to consumers. His slogan: “You press the button, we do the rest.” By 1901 the public could take photos using the famous Kodak Brownie, a great little camera that took pretty decent photos.

4. And that truly was the beginning–because you didn’t need to hire someone to paint your portrait. Families could frame photographs, hang them in their homes, honoring grandparents, remembering weddings, births, or to help the aching heart missing those who were miles away. In some cultures, people even took photos of their loved ones in coffins surrounded by flowers. All of this being about remembering, preserving, honoring: but also BEING IN THAT MOMENT.

A TALISMAN OF MEMORY – MINDFULNESS ANYONE?

You could say that holding a photo of your sweetheart as a GI during World War II or glancing at one taped to your flight deck as a pilot during any conflict, became a moment of memory but also mindfulness. The photo carried you away from the trauma, and for brief moments you could be present to the person you loved. Photos were, and for many still are a talisman of memory. Photos ignite thought.

But maybe not as much now. The ability to take photos of things truly worthy of remembering, but also of things you might forget in 15 minutes–has changed our attitudes toward the photos themselves. We take a photo and delete. Why? Because we worry about how we look–we probably always did, but film was costly and you didn’t SEE the photo until after it was developed. Photo phones changed that process, and truly changed what picture-taking meant in the moment. Because it’s not a moment–it’s a photo-shopped or deleted moment until the right moment comes along!

THE POLAROID OR LET’S GET NAKED

First we had the Polaroid. Now we have the cell phone! The Polaroid saved folks from taking your roll of film to the local drugstore to be developed…and when you return for it, you have to meet with a manager or maybe even a policeman. (This happened to a friend of mine as recently as the 90’s. She took some photos of her children naked in the bathtub, too much anatomy showing. Her children, but they had to make sure…)

The Polaroid did allow people to take such photos–you developed them right in your home. Now the concept of privacy isn’t on anyone’s radar, some people having been labeled sex offenders, because they were not aware of the dangers of clicking without thinking first…their images being traced back to them. Such images could hardly fit into some nostalgia category or talisman of memory. Again–change change change.

PHOTO HISTORY

I have taken photos forever, and have been extremely grateful to my husband who’s a great photographer. I love our family, want to remember them at all their amazing stages. I also treasure the homes we have lived in. But I didn’t take these photos so everyone would say WOW. I believe photos of family should be protected and treasured. I don’t think everyone needs to see them, and I’m sure we are not that protected online.

Jacob Silverman would probably agree with me. He writes: Social networking is a staple of modern life, but its continued evolution is becoming increasingly detrimental to our lives. Shifts in communication, identity, and privacy are affecting us more than we realize or understand…(he discusses) the identity-validating pleasures and perils of online visibility; our newly adopted view of daily life through the lens of what’s share-worthy; and the…(ability of ) social media platforms—Facebook, Google, Twitter (X), and more—to mine our personal data for advertising revenue…POINT: (is invading our privacy)

I treasure the photo albums I have been keeping for years, and our children enjoy seeing themselves at any age, and in many different places. If I share online, it is infrequent, and I am judicious as to what I share. My photos mean something to me. They stir up memories, create thought. The photo leaps beyond to the smells, sounds and feelings of that day, that moment.

What do your photos mean to you? As a dear and wonderful friend of mine once told me in her practical and knowing way: if your house catches on fire, grab your photos albums. Everything else can be replaced. Well readers, maybe the message is: take better care of your printed photos, but also watch what you take on your phones!

Are We “Trailing Clouds of Glory”?

November 3, 2024 5 Comments

Sometimes I yearn for an answer, and thus would love your thoughts concerning this: why is it that as we age, our ability to accept change becomes harder and harder. Is it the long span of health and independence that we take for granted…or does our human functioning disallow us from accepting our mortality? As Wordsworth wrote in his poem, Intimation of Immortality, children might arrive in the world: But trailing clouds of glory do we come From God, who is our home: Heaven lies about us in our infancy!

Thinking of those words, maybe it is because children do not have as firm a stake in the world as adults do. Throughout life, all of us must compensate and adapt. Sometimes it is only for a short while. Example: At the age of five, after eye surgery, I wore bandages on both eyes for a week. But a friend who is in her sixties, recently developed MS, Multiple Sclerosis. Now her ability to compensate and adapt will color the rest of her life. If we lose an arm, we are still the same person, that hasn’t changed us, though for the rest of life we need to learn to compensate with a prothesis.

And even if we live with the scars from a traffic accident or a fire–we are integrally the same person, though often feeling great sorrow over our loss. And though we might struggle to adjust, learn to love the altered person we now present to the world, within we have not truly changed. Which makes it so wrong when someone might label us, the speaker doing so to distance himself or herself from what they might experience in the future–because it is there…that deep-seated human fear, some more than others disallowing it when they risk life and limb regardless.

DEALING WITH PHYSICAL DIFFERENCES

It is possible, that we instinctively know our bodies are fragile, and being human, we crave distance from the pain and suffering of others. But even as a child, I began to realize that I might give pain to someone else when I wanted to look away from their suffering. (Children know and often say right out…what happened to you?)

Maybe I found my way into nursing to better understand that human reaction, to acknowledge and be more caring. I believe each of us, no matter the shape of our body, the losses or problems we might live with, deserves the acknowledgement of a whole human being. And because I believe this, I have learned not to run and open doors for the handicapped, unless explicitly asked to do so. Once, I approached a blind man, telling him that the usual entrance to the mall was blocked by decorations. He whirled on me, told me he knew exactly where he was going. I learned that day that I had invaded his space, and in that particular situation, I was wrong.

BUT DO WE TAKE FOR GRANTED OUT BODIES, HOW WE CARE FOR THEM?

Like lingerie. Don’t even try being innocent in certain bras—immediately you’re a tigress. To push the fantasy, the models’ photos are air-brushed into perfection, revealing completely bared buttocks in thongs, and facial expressions that looked pre-, post- or in medias res orgasm. Now that’s some lingerie! And yes, the time-line has crashed over the edge of the flow chart.

So where do we go from here? A scary question that makes me acutely aware of the attributes I have or more accurately, don’t have. The women peering out from magazines, television, the internet have perfect skin, defined arms and legs, breathtaking décolletage, slim stomachs, firm breasts and buttocks, incredible flowing hair, sexy everything. How can I be happy with my aging self when the world around me has raised the bar to unattainable heights?

In my twenties, the bar just wasn’t that high. I wore ordinary bras. Everyone did. I can’t even remember the nondescript panties. If you did shop Fredericks of Hollywood, you were close to being a slut, though there was the trousseau lingerie you received at wedding showers—considered totally acceptable by your girlfriends. But Grandma Harriet? She’d have a seizure now. Because why do we have to look like we all work in a bordello? I’m aging, but also concerned as to how to encase my anatomy. What’s a girl to do?

GET OVER IT!

Maybe take the sad trip to VS or some other lingerie department. We’ve all been there, standing in the dressing room naked, looking at sagging breasts, and for some, baby-making tummies, and for others, I-like-desserts-too-much tummies. You check out the fine wrinkles in your knees and the occasional spider-veins, and either cry or just keep sighing as the fluorescent light transforms your skin into a lovely grey, revealing every facial flaw. (Advice: don’t ever bend your face over your mirror—gravity will allow you to see where you’ll be at 90, sans Botox. HELP!!! ) So you stifle the urge to break the full-length mirror, telling yourself: stay cool. Then you suck everything in and try on THE BRA. At VS it’s probably called the “I feel sexy bra,” though you don’t. Because this is the sad trip, the one you take when your lover drops you despite the surprise party you threw him complete with stripper. Or your longtime boyfriend was relieved to get transferred to Australia, or your husband has revealed he’s doing it with the dog trainer. JUST KIDDING! But you’re familiar with the drill. Time will always win!

P.S. My readers know, that the love and help you give those close to you is truly the beauty in your life. But ever so often, we look in the mirror…and just wonder. SO SMILE and thanks for reading

WHAT ARE YOU READING? 100 Best Books of the 21st Century

October 27, 2024 6 Comments

Like many others, I don’t have a trip to Europe or some exotic island cruise on my calendar. But I do have books. And I read, always.

And what a great time of year to pile up some wonderful reads, because I live in Chicago, and it’s fall, the leaves shouting out their autumn colors, though on our walk today I saw Lamb’s Ear (that’s a plant I love) roses, mums, marigolds, other annuals still holding on. But it’s getting late, and so we admire the brightness of pumpkins…they are every where, part of our Midwest autumn celebration.

BUT I HAVE TO ASK: WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN READING?

I’m curious, because The New York Times recently presented: BOOK REVIEW, THE 100 BEST BOOKS OF THE 21st CENTURY! And no one can resist flipping through 47 pages to see what books made the list and if you have read any of them.

HOW “BEST BOOKS” IS DONE

The Book Review sends a survey to hundreds of novelists, editors, critics, publishers, booksellers, and librarians asking them to pick the ten best books of the 20th Century. After going through all responses, the NYT creates a list of 100.

THE TOP TEN

And now I am wondering if you have read and enjoyed any of THE TOP TEN? So, here they are:

My Brilliant Friend, Elena Ferrante; Warmth of Other Suns, Isabel Wilkerson; Wolf Hall, Hillary Mantel; The Known World, Edward P. Jones; The Corrections, Jonathan Franzen; 2666, Roberto Bolano; The Underground Railroad, Colson Whitehead; Austerlitz, W.G.Sebald; Never Let Me Go, Kazuo Ishiguro and lastly, Gilead, Marilynn Robinson.

OUT OF THE TOP TEN, HERE ARE THE ONES I HAVE READ and RECOMMEND:

The Known World (amazing); most of The Corrections; The Underground Railroad and Gilead–one of my favorite books of all time, that lead me to read everything else Robinson has written. Love her work.

Many of the others I am familiar with, especially Isabel Wilkerson and her research; Hillary Mantel and her life work, early death; and how amazing that Elena Ferrante seemed to come from nowhere, capturing the love of readers world-wide.

AND THE LIST GOES ON

Here are some of the others I have read, and my brief recommendation. THANKS FOR, well, READING!

Lincoln in the Bardo George Saunders

Hateship, Friendship, Courtship, Loveship, Marriage Alice Munro

Atonement, Ian McEwan

Between the World and Me, Ta Nehisi Coates (a must read)

Small Things Like These, Claire Keegan (an absolutely must read!)

Olive Kitteridge, Elizabeth Strout (I fell in love with this novel that won the Pulitzer, and then read everything else she has written, as well as taking a class with her at the University of Iowa. I’m a fan.)

An American Marriage, Tayari Jones (I cannot say enough for this novel, beautifully written, fascinating story…worth reading again and again.)

And finally, Bel Canto, Ann Patchett (a wonderful writer who I admire. My favorite of hers: Commonwealth.)

WOULD LOVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU ARE READING or YOUR FAVORITES, Beth

I recommend joining Goodreads to see what others are reading and loving.

GOOD NIGHT, HAPPY PEOPLE

October 20, 2024 9 Comments

Our home in Chicago has two walls of windows that look out onto our garden(photos above). Those same windows also provide a view of our fence and the homes across an alley.

But every night, when I am turning out the lights to go to bed, I see the HAPPY PEOPLE. I call them that, because when I’m tired, eager for sleep, they are still up, going strong. I know this, because their widescreen TV is lit up, and they are watching a film, enjoying a story that keeps them going even when it’s midnight. And when I often see them moving about, I imagine it’s time for another glass of wine or some snacks, all of which convinces me that they are happy.

As a writer, this is not unusual for me…imagining the lives of others: does this couple sleep late in the morning, because watching a movie beyond midnight is part of their routine? My husband and I have met them, and they are both retired. So why not stay up until they become drowsy, and finally head off to bed?

I do believe they are HAPPY…their home casting light into the darkness, their TV big and bright…but also because they have a lovely garden with a large swing, the kind young children yearn for. It hangs from a tree, their grandchildren often visiting, heading for that swing, where they float up to the sky, shrieking and calling out with joy.

I do love that, it reminding me of the hundreds of times I pushed and worked my way into the clouds in my own back yard, using a simple swing that hung from our garage roof and a hunk of wood set in cement. Because it is true: memoires we make in our youth never go away…

I’m the swing and the swing is me—and day by day we work our way up the dimensions of the yard. The first few seconds my toes inside my shoes can stretch to the patchy grass by the apple tree, then to the gravel car turnaround under that tree, and finally, when I’m really going, they touch the high branches of the apple tree and the roof of our house. I’m alone, clouds moving along the border of my sky, as if I’m seeing the very earth spinning on its axis. But I keep swinging and singing, sometimes just watching the sky as I float back and forth, back and forth, my head held straight along my body, like an arrow hurtling upwards.

BUT ALSO, my Happy Neighbors…once had a party on a hot summer night…the kind that beckons anyone who happened to be walking by. There was music, and vodka…which of course you can chill on a hot summer night. And if they have that party again…my husband and I will wander over…maybe I could swing on that swing.

FINAL THOUGHT

I have never needed alcohol to be happy. Just seeing how people love and honor one another makes me happy…like another of my neighbors whose job it is to deal with troubled children..those in high school, truant, getting in trouble. It’s a constant, he being called because of a fight, someone upsetting a classroom, threatening a teacher, possessing drugs or worse…my neighbor always calm, always ready. This big man with a big smile who relaxes by riding a bike or cooking on his grill…he and his wife, happy.

Our street also has a BLOCK PARTY. This is truly a Beverly Chicago thing…every block does it…so that all summer long, as you walk or drive, one city block is inaccessible from one end to the other, with the city’s permission of course. There are bounce houses, taco trucks, magicians, and musicians, while bikes and balls, scooters and electric kid cars zoom from one end to another. The best part: good conversations with your neighbors over a beer or maybe even a Screw Driver.

But why am I remembering block parties and yard parties with autumn here, winter not far away? Because it is the warmth of the people who live here, Good People, Happy People…who will help you when your car won’t start; warn you when they see a mouse run into your garage; bring over a package or the mail if it somehow was wrongly delivered.

And then, in the coldest of winters, they will set out luminary lights at every house on the block to celebrate the season. Hot coca will also be served, because these are people, happy people, who live by the code of being truly good neighbors. All blessings.

Do you have gatherings or ceremonies where you live? Are you part of a group of Happy People?

Our Wild Wonderful Children–Every One

October 13, 2024 4 Comments

HOW TO RAISE A SWEET SON in an ERA of ANGRY MEN

My husband and I are blessed with three amazing children. And not only are they all living good lives–all three are loving and giving. So why is that a big deal? It just is.

Faith Salie, author of the Approval Junkie, published a piece with the above title in TIME MAGAZINE. And I LOVED WHAT SHE SAID. Wished that I had written that piece. So I looked her up. Faith is an American journalist, writer, actor, comedian, and contributes to CBS Sunday Morning and NPR’s Wait Wait… Don’t Tell Me! SHE IS ONE A SMART WOMAN.

And Faith has damn good insights. Her first child was a boy, and when her husband greeted the newborn, he said, “Hi Sweet Pea” not Buddy or Little Man…and from that moment, Faith felt great comfort. She saw that both of them would be committed to raising a sweet boy, and Faith, like many other mothers, realizes that this is what the world needs now–millions of them. I AGREE.

Faith now has two children–her son is five, her daughter is three. She uses metaphors for the trajectory of their individual lives: the girl demanded a makeshift kite to become a fencing foil, so that she could race around their yard proclaiming “En grade!” At his birthday party, the boy asked the balloon artist for a heart, instead of the usual sword.

Here’s the point Faith is making: “Boys have always known they could do anything; all they had to do was look around at the US presidents, religious leaders, professional athletes and especially at STATUES…in cities big and small.” She then writes: “Girls always knew they were allowed to feel anything–except anger.” My response to these statements: YES.

But now girls, led by we women, are allowed to be angry, to feel their emotions, and use those emotions to determine their futures.

LIKE MY TWO DAUGHTERS

Caroline initially wanted to major in architecture, but found her way to city planning and landscape design to be a better wide-open choice for her. She earned her MA in City Planning & Landscape Architecture, works in the Green Movement, helping to restructure buildings to be LEED certified ie Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design. She married Ben, lives and works in Boston, Mass, and is co-owner and principal of her firm.

On her journey, Christine had to deal (and did so expertly) with egotistical, obnoxious men when she worked in the film industry. She then did a one-eighty, earning her MA in Theology, with a focus in spiritual direction. She had three amazing children, then created The Green House, place for women to do yoga and /or meet Christie for spiritual direction. She also recently published a novel and is currently touring to promote it. Yes! both of our daughters are powerful women.

SO…WHAT ARE BOYS EXPECTED TO FEEL?

Faith Salie states it clearly: while girls are now encouraged to take on roles that were once only for men, boys who already knew they could be all these things–astronauts, tech giants–had parents who often failed to help them access and understand their emotions, actually know how to work with them. Faith points out that infant boys are still dressed in onesies with trucks and footballs. She even saw a onesie that read TOUGH LIKE DADDY. Faith would much rather see clothing that reads: RESILIENT LIKE MOMMY. And Faith wants us to consider this statistic: the number of men who around the age of 27 commit suicide or go on a murder rampage. Those statistics are chilling.)

RAISING YOUR SON

Thus, there is nothing wrong, but absolutely right, to raise a son while fostering his innate sweetness. Because this boy will grow up to see there is strength in being vulnerable, empathetic. (Empathy, which is now one of my favorite words for all time.) And Faith Salie states: when boys grow to be men and understand their emotions they:

aren’t threatened by criticism;
don’t perceive COMPETITION from people because of their skin color or sexual orientation, religion, education or as Faith writes WHATEVER!!

When boys feel everything without shame, it’s because their parents and maybe the wider society have given them permission to access their emotions, welcome them, understand them. There is NO SHAME in having and expressing emotion for males or females.

Faith writes: “Parents must invite their sons to be sad, afraid, hurt, silly, affectionate, and embrace them and snuggle them as they do their daughters. Sweet boys learn early on that they can defend themselves against loneliness by reaching out, asking for support, rather than turning into people who literally grab for power. Sweet boys evolve into openhearted men who aren’t confused about consent and sexual boundaries, because they experience women as equals.” WOW, THAT IS SO IMPORTANT.

And I must write: Andrew has had a great role model all his life–his father. He did get called, Buddy, now and again, and he did play baseball etc. But there was never a doubt that Andrew would be caring and kind–thus today he is a man of great empathy–in a world where anger, ego, lust and pride are sometimes held up as the way to be.

FINAL THOUGHTS

I kept a baby book for each of my children, recorded their birth weights and size, taped in their foot print sheets, their growth, listed their new teeth, first words…illnesses, birthdays, funny and amazing proclamations. My husband and I realized that though we raised two girls and then a boy–the pattern for each was the same! Thus our son Andrew works in marketing for a firm specializing in games. He not only enjoys his work but adds a creativity to it. He also plays guitar, knows chapter and verse about many kinds of music, and writes his own songs.

All three are wild and wonderful, creative and funny, curious and interesting. All have found amazing life-partners. They love adventure, and yet sitting around a fireplace on a cold night just talking–they are great at that too. When my husband and I hurt, they are there for us. When we cry, they cry; when we laugh, they laugh. Our son and his wife are now expecting their first child…talk about a blessed family.

And thanks to Faith Salie; Photo Credits: DAD

The Mayo Clinic’s Advice for a Good Night Sleep

October 6, 2024 6 Comments

We hear it all the time…getting a good night’s sleep is GOOD FOR YOUR BRAIN. Thus, when The Mayo Clinic sent me a Special Report about sleep, I read it, eager to share aspects of it with you.

So…FACTS TO KEEP IN MIND: Sleep is NOT a luxury, it is a POWERFUL HUMAN DRIVE that can provide us with multiple health benefits.

Sleep gives your body a break from being in full operational mode. It provides time for faulty cell repair and establishes new memory and learning processes. So…if you don’t get the sleep you need, THERE ARE CONSEQUENCES: daytime drowsiness and irritability. Your concentration will be impaired, and your ability to perform simple tasks will be hindered.

Also, your memory, your physical performance and reaction time will be affected. Reading this is not comforting. Plus, the situation gets worse if you are interrupted or short sleep accumulates over a number of nights.

THE BIG QUESTIONS: Why does a good night’s sleep become more difficult to come by as we age? What can we do about this?

SOME ANSWERS: Though sleep patterns can change over time, know that POOR SLEEP is not a consequence of getting older. So no matter your age, we now know more about the effects of sleeping and aging, plus there are things we can begin to do immediately, and the good news, these things do not require drugs.

SOME BACKGROUND

As we age, many people report sleep complaints. The most common? Not being able to fall asleep and stay asleep. Scientists and researchers report that over time, our biological clocks tend to reset a little earlier.

We start to feel sleepy earlier in the evening than we used to. We also wake up earlier in the morning. Scientists also state that our biological clocks are now sending weaker signals to keep us awake during the day or to allow us to sleep during the night.

So maybe you have headed to bed feeling tired, but then found yourself staring at the ceiling. Sleep also becomes fragmented throughout the night, as we spend less time in deep sleep and more time in periods of wakefulness. But why attach all of this to aging? Well, it is complicated, various factors affecting the relationship between aging and sleeping.

HERE ARE SOME FACTORS THAT CAN AFFECT YOUR SLEEP:

Medical conditions that require the use of medications.
Medical conditions causing: increased insomnia because of heart conditions, musculoskeletal pain, breathing problems, depression, anxiety, acid reflux.
Drugs that are used to treat the above conditions causing sleep-disturbing side effects.

When all of the above are taken into consideration, the number of healthy adults with insomnia, but no other problems, is quite low, between 1% and 7%.

In healthy adults, the difference in the time it takes to initially fall asleep becomes obvious only when you compare very young adults with elderly individuals. And even then, it takes less than 10 minutes longer for an 80-year old to fall asleep compared with a 20-year old.

STILL CANNOT SLEEP?

Regardless of your overall health, insomnia is a problem that should be taken seriously, given the harmful effects it can have on your life. Checking to see if the medications you are taking might be causing your inability to fall asleep is one step you can take. But the Mayo Clinic wants you to go further than that, as your insomnia might persist even if the timing of medications is changed.

TAKE A PILL?

There are many sleep-aids on the market encouraging you to do just that. An easy solution???

Not if you are already taking other medications. And unless your insomnia is short-lived or unique to a particular set of circumstances, most sleeping pills aren’t a good solution. And this is something I did not know and wish I had when my mother was alive: sleeping pills are not meant for use beyond 4-8 weeks, yet older adults report using them for months, even years. Like my Mom.

There are side effects: residual sleepiness; dizziness, impaired mental functioning and muscle coordination. Also, sleep walking, eating, making phone calls…that they cannot recollect.

Think about fractures from falling when on sleep meds that make you groggy. Not a good idea!

INSTEAD: SLEEP-FRIENDLY HABITS

Create sleep-friendly rituals. Go to bed at the same time; have a ritual that alerts your body that it is time to rest: warm bath, reading, soothing music. Write down things you will deal with tomorrow. This will help your ability to pray, meditate, read or listen to soothing music. These activities can become a ritual to alert your body to rest and then sleep.
Make your bedroom your sleeping room or your room for sex. Other activities like watching TV, eating, being on your phone…will change the peacefulness of your bedroom. Your body desires sleep. Your body needs cool, dark and quiet. Also comfortable bedding that allows you to stretch out.
You have done the above and still cannot sleep? Leave your bedroom. Do something relaxing until you feel drowsy…reading in dim light; sitting quieting or meditating. THE POINT: don’t link your bed to the difficulty of falling asleep.
Relax. It’s best to go to bed when you are feeling sleepy. Try to relax at bedtime and avoid worrying that you might not sleep. Practice relaxation techniques by slowly tensing, then stretching and relaxing your muscle groups.Work from your toes to your neck and head.
Note that the things you do during the day can set the stage for how you sleep. Thus, consider including the following that might impact the quality of your sleep: regular exercise that expends energy and increases endorphins. Activities such as aerobic exercises or walking, running and endurance training, done daily, but not too close to your bedtime.
Avoiding caffeine that can keep you awake. Limit caffeine intake and reserve it only for the morning.
Watch how you use alcohol. Consuming it before bed might help you fall asleep, but it tends to produce a fragmented sleep. Also, a heavy meal before bedtime can increase your risk of digestive discomfort, which can keep you awake.

Finally, develop sleep-friendly habits, so that when nighttime comes around, you are giving your body the proper signals and the environment that will lead to a good night’s rest.

Thanks to Special Report: Good Night, Sleep Tight Mayo Clinic Health Letter

Reading, writing...that's what I do.

Adjusting to New Developments

Are We “Trailing Clouds of Glory”?

WHAT ARE YOU READING? 100 Best Books of the 21st Century

GOOD NIGHT, HAPPY PEOPLE

Our Wild Wonderful Children–Every One

My husband and I are blessed with three amazing children. And not only are they all living good lives–all three are loving and giving. So why is that a big deal? It just is.

And thanks to Faith Salie; Photo Credits: DAD

The Mayo Clinic’s Advice for a Good Night Sleep

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Are We “Trailing Clouds of Glory”?

WHAT ARE YOU READING? 100 Best Books of the 21st Century

GOOD NIGHT, HAPPY PEOPLE

Our Wild Wonderful Children–Every One

The Mayo Clinic’s Advice for a Good Night Sleep

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Reading, writing...that's what I do.

My husband and I are blessed with three amazing children. And not only are they all living good lives–all three are loving and giving. So why is that a big deal? It just is.

And thanks to Faith Salie; Photo Credits: DAD

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