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Despite trump, Brilliant Thoughts from Ken Burns

January 19, 2025 No Comments

The following post focusses on ideas and the brilliance shared by Ken Burns.

Who is Ken Burns? Kenneth Lauren Burns is an American filmmaker known for his documentary films and television series that chronicle American history and culture. His work is often produced in association with WETA-TV or the National Endowment for the Humanities, and distributed by PBS.

A VISIT WITH KEN BURNS…

A famous actress once said: “Put down the measuring stick.” I LOVE THAT. Because we know when our stories contain truth. So while listening to Burns, I jotted down statements he’d made. Why? Because I put down the measuring stick, enjoying his wit and intelligence. You will too.

BURNS: Dr. Martin Luther King…he believed in love, the sanctity of human life. He approved of the rich giving up things. His marches underlined activism, the building of HOPE. He had passion for the possible.

Dr. King spoke of what people were feeling, and maybe what King was feeling, before he was assassinated. He talked about the mountain top, that in the darkest of nights, we see the stars even better!

He spoke of Brian Stevenson, a human rights lawyer, who still shares some hard truths about America’s justice system. Because Stevenson believes there is a massive imbalance along racial lines: a third of the country’s Black male population having been incarcerated at some point in their lives.

And…these issues, which are wrapped up in America’s unexamined history, are rarely talked about with this level of candor, this insight and persuasiveness. But Ken Burns KNOWS WHAT NEEDS TO BE SAID. And he will applaud and record those who will say it.  

On a very different issue, Burns says: Baseball is about family; it’s about American Destiny. We need to sing together: the national anthem, Sweet Caroline.  Because there is NO in-difference in American Baseball. Yes. Truth! A brilliant thought, whether you love baseball or not.  

Burns also states: Don’t blame “them”. We are living our human nature. We need to stop violence and learn how to live together. ONLY OUR STORIES CAN CONTAIN OUR TRUTH. Thus: Have courage. Use your parents as examples. The sky is not falling. Find humility in some Americans…and go on living. Write books. Remember those in the past that helped forge the future: Samual Johnson and patriotism; how to stop wars; Edmond Burke. And Demi Moore. She being the one who instructed: put down the measuring stick.

AND WHAT DO YOU THINK?

In our world today there are no ordinary people. And there is no indifference in American Baseball. We hear and cheer the Star Spangled Banner and the game begins.  And we are blessed with this wonderful thinker, Ken Burns!

So thanks for reading…and if you have some statement that we need to hear, SHARE! Brilliance is fleeting. The thought comes and goes. Hold on to it, put down the measuring stick. We are all thought-full people. 

I’ve Seen Fire, I’ve Seen Rain

January 12, 2025 8 Comments

 

FIRST THE RAIN PART 

Having weeks before given birth to our son, our third child, a neighbor recommended an itinerant plumber to just check out everything in the basement of the beloved but older home we were living in. The guy came, I led him to the basement, going right back to care for my baby. He appeared soon after claiming all was in order, I paid him and he left.

That night we had a rain storm in Chicago like no other…sheets and sheets of rain. And we did not know that the cap on a pipe in the basement had NOT been tightened correctly by this worker guy, so that water was pouring into our basement, affecting our phone line.

It was why a neighbor rang the doorbell early the next morning, telling my husband John that he had received a call. John’s father, after a long illness, was dying, but no one was able to reach us. John dressed, hurried to drive to his father’s house, calling upstairs to me that we now had six feet of water in our basement.

SONGS AND SORROW 

At the time, there was a popular song, the singer had not been with his father when the man died. The song: THE LIVING YEARS. The artist: Mike and the Mechanics. As days passed and we heard that song, we would cry. Our son had been born; a father had died. In the living years.

Yes, these things happen. And I blame myself for being busy with my new son, not caring what some guy at the door had accomplished or not accomplished in our basement. Thus we lost: old books that had been in the family for many years; all my teaching materials from my first career; and the keepsake letters I had received: those my husband had written to me over the years, and the formal letters I’d received after I wrote to Queen Elizabeth II. Yes, I did this three times, always getting a proper answer written by a Lady in Waiting, Rose Barring. I looked her up. She was a real person.

NOW THE FIRE PART 

After my mother died in 2013, we moved to California. My younger brother had moved there after college. My mother’s brother had lived there with his family most of his adult life. And our middle child, our daughter lived in the beach communities with our grandchildren. This was the time to embrace California and all it had to offer. And we did love it, every moment of it…except the fires.

How many times did I pack up my big red car? Probably three times.

We lived in a courtyard community. The neighbors would come out and tease me.

“Why are you packing your car? There won’t be a problem. We are fine here.”

Until the night we were not.

The fires started west of us. We had actually driven friends to the airport that day. It was very windy when driving home. John had gone to bed early, but then the police drove into the community, shouting at all of us over their bull-horns. We had to get out. 

I’d already packed my computer, some files, clothing…I can’t list it all, but the back of my car was full, making it difficult to see on the back window. Police stood in the cul-de-sac waving us out.

But then John realized he had forgotten some medicines. We had to go back! Luckily, the police let us in, John grabbed what he needed, and I grabbed jewelry that had been my mother’s. Again we drove, this time to Playa del Rey to be with my brother and his where we sat watching TV, watching the areas around our home burn.

We didn’t sleep. John got calls from family, from friends. Then in the morning, we checked the news, convincing ourselves that we could drive back. Which we did, taking a very long way to get there.

And what did we see? Firetrucks from other states. Firemen and woman still using hoses on fires or digging trenches to stop others. They had been there from the beginning, with no breaks. They had saved our little community and the houses around it. We emptied our car, thankful to be back home.

Days later, a neighbor organized a small dinner to celebrate our safety, the conversation devolving down to the disparaging some minorities….not a good way to celebrate our safety. Ah life.

So yes. I’ve seen fire and I’ve seen rain. I’ve seen firetrucks from other states parked in my neighborhood. I have loved the banners hung across our major streets…thanking the fireman. And probably two or three more times, I have watched the news with caution as a fire started….near the Ronald Regan Library….but what direction are the Santa Annas blowing? Will we be in danger again?

Probably. It’s California. There are fires, and what they truly need is more rain.

Because there is no way to stop the Santa Ana winds from sweeping down from the deserts and across coastal Southern California, pushing dust and smoke from wildfires far out over the Pacific Ocean. It is nature, it is what it is. If you live there, you adapt. And if you are like me, you pack your car. Take your computer. Be ready. 

And where am I now? Back in Chicago. Yes, many days I truly miss California. But I do not miss the fires. And thanks to James Taylor. 

Sexuality, Spirituality: Integral to Who We Are

January 5, 2025 No Comments

Version 1.0.0

Whether we are experiencing midlife, or we are aging; whether we are living with a partner, living alone or are currently surrounded by family…that position does not matter. Bottom line: in life, sexuality is still integral to who we are research continuing to reveal that in many aspects of our lives, how we function as a sexual being directly correlates to a happier, fuller life. And right along with that comes our spiritual life. 

In the article, Sacred Fire, author Toni Weingarten reflects on standard religious teachings that many of us experienced when growing up. Sex basically meant don’t. Additionally, members of our parents’ generation were often unable to teach us about sex, making us think of it as forbidden, even wrong. 

Sandra Lommasson, spiritual director at Mercy Center in Burlingame, CA, provides a fresher view: “Sexuality is the drive for love, unity, family. Sexuality calls us to new forms of partnership and creativity, to bring life into the world. Our soul isn’t something we have—we are our souls. The soul is life, the principle of energy. And the only sin is to dry up.” Lommasson states: “sexuality—erotic energy—is a powerful sacred fire.”

Sr. Lorita Moffatt expands on these  thoughts, referring to sexuality as the “juice of life, a desire for union, communion, and that juice is in plants, animals, all of creation.” Approaching children with such a concept of sexuality would certainly be positive, life affirming.

Both of these women are skilled in spiritual direction, a process where a mentor/counselor meets with a person who desires to blend daily living with a spiritual life; someone who wants to develop an inner life, a clear view of the path he or she is on. Both women make the basic point that the spiritual part of a person does not say don’t —though Lommasson does stress: “We need to respect the sacredness of the fire.”

INTEGRATING THE TWO 

The respect for love and the ability to have children lives in the relationship of the two people who value the intimacy they share with one another. In families, it is healthy for children to learn over time that their parents have a special relationship that occurs behind closed doors. That this is a special sexual relationship allowing them to bring children into the world, and at its best, this relationship  unites and sustains them in a family that is productive and happy.

Christine Gudorf writes in her article, Why Sex Is So Good for Your Marriage, that the “sexual desire created by marital sex is a source of tremendous energy in marriage—loving energy that overflows on others.” She relates, that in her own marriage her children became aware of the sexual attraction she and her husband had for each other. They even learned that if one of their parents was tense or irritable, or an argument was ensuing, they could restore the comfortable home atmosphere by suggesting that their parents take a “little nap,” the euphemism developed for a retreat to their bedroom.

When Gudorf was growing up, her own parents had provided such a model. They touched each other with affection, enjoyed each other’s company, and when they emerged from their bedroom, both smiling, their love for each other flowed out to their children, the rest of the evening often warm and fun-filled.  As my mother used to tell me, sex is the glue in a marriage.

The following generations often made stronger marriages , because as children they experienced an honest openness about the sexual part of marriage—sexuality being seen in its spiritual context, and not something parents shouted out “don’t”!

Being ignorant of the close bonds that sexuality and spirituality have can promote confusion, the inability to communicate. Wives and husbands, boyfriends and girlfriends should be able to see their sexual lives as integral to human life, as a good thing—a sacred fire that we respect.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Gudorf writes: “For all these reasons, increased attention should be given in both the church and society to strengthening the role of sex in marriage by removing the ignorance of sexuality, the lack of communication skills, and the lack of theological appreciation for sexuality and sexual communion, all of which put marriage at risk.”

So true. We can honor ourselves by acknowledging that sexuality and spirituality are integral to who we are.  When we integrate them, we respect that sacred fire. 

Surprise! A Parent’s Experience of Its Negatives and Positives

December 29, 2024 8 Comments

For some reason, my family thinks I yearn to be surprised. Think birthdays. When a zero appears in my age….TIME TO SURPRISE MOM!  Really?

And yes, my family GOT ME…every time. Once, John and I were out buying socks. Another time my brother Bill and I needed extra film….time to catch on, Beth. And the third time (and this was a big year, a big event) my husband was driving us to some benefit our daughter was connected to. WE WERE IN TRAFFIC, he was having a fit. “It’s some benefit, they won’t care if we’re late.”     SURPRISE !!

And yes, it was wonderful….they got me again, people flying to California to celebrate me. I will never forget it. Thank you family for loving me. And I did feel that love.

But now…I am asking YOU, if there is a certain amount of trust that must be built into the concept of SURPRISE. I believe the answer would be YES…because depending on what the surprise is, there can be shock, physical or heartfelt shock…that can cause harm.

A DIFFERENT KIND OF SURPRISE

Think of the women who trust their husbands or significant others, only to one day be surprised by that lover or a husband’s confession of cheating. Yes, it’s a surprise, and novels, films, stage plays have been forever presented such a devastating and hurtful surprise. If we had a panel of counselors to ask, that kind of torturous surprise would probably be a major reason why their clients seek help. Human beings LOVE being prepared for change. Parents respect the lives of their adult children, but find it helpful when they are prepared for major changes in a child’s life…no matter what their age.

JINNI: A DEVASTATING SURPRISE

My mother was one strong woman, she for months watching my father struggling with cheat pain, the opinions of doctors, the exams, medications, therapies that never seemed to go anywhere. And then his death. Was it a surprise? Yes, death rarely is the person in bed extending a hand before dropping it…so often portrayed in TV and film.

But as parents, and no matter what our children’s ages, we prefer to have signals, hints, or bold statements as to how their lives are progressing. And this is especially true when “the surprise” echoes our own histories and challenges.

OPEN VERSUS CLOSED

In the parent-child relationship, NOTHING is more wonderful, satisfying, life-fulfilling than the time your adult child seeks your advice…SHARES a goal or a dream with you.

IT IS WHY WE HAVE CHILDREN. IT IS WHY: we read to them, educate them, encourage sports, film, travel, a broad range of life experience. It is why we celebrate their graduations, birthdays, marriages, children and successes.

And a final thought: PARENTS YEARN TO SHARE THEIR CHILDREN’S PATHWAYS, HOPES and DREAMS.

WHY? Because one day, when they tell us they are getting close to fulfilling a dream, we can see in that dream the seeds of our parenthood. And that is good. That is WHY WE PARENT.

FINAL THOUGHT

NO CHILD ARRIVES COMPLETE. It is parenting, it is love, exposure to life and art…to so many amazing experiences that our culture provides. We want our children at any age to REACH FOR IT. LIVE IT. But we also ask: don’t forget to thank your roots, those who long ago inspired you, read to you, encouraged you. WHERE WOULD YOU BE WITHOUT THEM?

WHERE WOULD YOU BE WITHOUT US?

(thanks to Media: Thoughtfully Share on Facebook)

Quickening: Finding Those Living Moments

December 22, 2024 6 Comments

I’m always reading, always have a novel to settle down with at the end of the day, though my current choice is a book I’ve read before. It is MIDWIVES, by Chris Bohjalian, this being my third read, a novel that transported Bohjaian to the must read lists, he continuing to give us wonderful works…The Double Bind, Water Witches, The Law of Similars and many more.

MIDWIVES appeared when I had gone back to school to become a labor and delivery RN. The title made me eager to read a book about pregnancy, childbirth, and the work of being a mid-wife. I was not disappointed.

The following selection describes a woman’s remembrance of quickening, the time when life, when movement is first felt in the womb.

And then suddenly, I felt a tiny flutter a bit below my belly button. A tadpole flicking its tail. …Instantly that image of the tadpole…changed to that of a newborn baby. I knew my baby looked nothing like a newborn, but that was what I pretended was fluttering inside me. …Oh my God, I was happy…And quickening really is the perfect word to describe it, because your heart races, and the pace of the pregnancy just takes off.   

CAN WE STILL HAVE THOSE FEELINGS of LIFE, CREATIVITY?  

Yes, we can. And it doesn’t matter whether we are male or female, what stage of life we are in, how we have lived and loved so far, or the choices we have made. Life still provides possibilities, and we need to be aware of them, open to reaching out, experiencing what surrounds us. We need to remember that LIFE is amazing, though it can change slowly or very quickly.

And what is A MOMENT? What are those FEELINGS?

Again Bohjalian writes beautifully from the point of view of Sibly Danforth, the Midwife:

I’v helped birth sons and daughters…My mothers have been painters and sculptors and photographers, and all sorts of people blessed with really amazing talents…I’ve been paid with quilts…paintings and carvings and stained glass. Our house is beautiful because of barter…

 (Siby Danfoth, Midwife)

AND…YES WE CAN

Reading MIDWIVES for a second time is bringing me comfort. Because life is various. Life contains surprises and sorrows. It lifts us up, yet can come at us with such a quick slap, that we are reeling, trying to regain some balance. But living is always about love. From the moment of birth, each human needs another human to hold him or her, provide the warmth of a blanket, the softness of whispered words…Welcome, I love you, have dreamed of you and wow, now you are here. 

MY BROTHER, BILL 

When I was just a kid, my younger brother had a hard time going to bed by himself. Thus my mother had the two of us sleep in the same room so that Bill would always feel the comfort of another’s presence. I think of that today, my brother now aging, struggling with a devastating disease, and I unable to be right there, the  presence that he once needed.

And though he is in California and I am in Chicago; and though he is fighting an illness and I am not… in some way I hope to always be near him. So I call out, and I write…

It’s okay Bill, I’m here for you. And when I was a child with a loving big brother, I could not have known the importance of praying, of asking for another brother, and then you arrived…and I will now and forever be so grateful. I will say welcome home, I love you, have dreamed of you, and in my heart you will always be with me. Yes, it’s like quickening, when you know within you that you are truly blessed. With love, Beth 

TELL ME EVERYTHING a novel by Elizabeth Strout

December 15, 2024 2 Comments

In past years, if I sat down to write novels about people connected to one another in various ways; if I focussed on their peccadilloes, proclivities, while presenting the sorrows and joys of the narrator and all the other characters; and if I allowed each book to go deeper, providing more details and truths about these people’s lives…I might be approaching what Elizabeth Strout has artistically achieved in her expansive work, especially in this latest novel: TELL ME EVERYTHING. 

The title is apt, Strout focusing on the walks Lucy Barton (LUCY BARTON, LUCY BY THE SEA) and Bob Burgess (THE BURGESS BOYS) have been taking in these most recent novels, starting in the Covid years when Lucy and husband William moved from New York City back to Crosby Maine. Their purpose, to be more isolated, avoid getting the virus… but even better for the creative mind of Elizabeth Strout, her Maine characters once again appearing. OLIVE KITTERIDGE, Strout’s Pulitzer Prize winning novel; because thankfully, Olive is still with us, her blunt Maine view of things forever summarizing the lives of neighbors and friends, she now living in a senior center with some of Strout’s characters from her older work…this allowing Strout to continue her magic, because every one of her characters are real, relatable.  

I TAKE A CLASS WITH STROUT AT THE UNIVERSITY OF IOWA

When her career was just beginning, I took Strout’s weekend writing class at the University of Iowa. She focussed on her writing process, how she often spread drafts of one scene over a long table, walking back and froth, reading, editing. This gave her the ability to compare one section with another section, to see how her story, her themes were progressing. She did this consistently, until satisfied with the movement of prose from scene to scene. This intimate look at her writing process made me value her work even more. I saw her as a unique writer of our time; and then I read Strout…read everything she has published. 

STROUT: A WRITER WHO NEVER DISAPPOINTS

It fascinates me that Strout proceeded to see her novels as springing from one or two characters. She must have loved Olive, and thus brought her back, a great choice. Certainly, I don’t know the details of Strout’s process. But I have read one book after another, admiring her decision to allow her characters to age, divorce, suffer, look back and mourn their mistakes…even die. Strout’s characters find solace in old friendships, reveal to eager readers what has propelled their lives, mistakes, and peccadilloes, and of course, their loves. Characters become more real to us when we become aware of their younger choices, older discoveries, these appearing on the last page, the final scene, as they live, yet understand their eternal regrets.

It’s a major task that Elizabeth Strout has created for herself. But as you read, you feel the love and care she has has for all of her characters. You admire her ability to take a story thread and allow it to grow, until she finally reveals it purpose, its ending. Her prose is often clipped, which only increases the reality of conversation…we get interrupted; we don’t complete a thought. That’s Strout, but done in a way that makes you feel you are part of the conversation, you are connected to these characters, their strengths, their weaknesses. Yes, read TELL ME EVERYTHING…it’s wonderful. But don’t stop there. GO BACK…her characters are waiting to tell you their stories. 

P.S. If you haven’t read Strout, start with OLIVE KITTERIDGE or LUCY BARTON. 

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