Life has changed so much because of the Internet, because of our ability to communicate with each other as many times a day as we chose. And sometimes we go beyond what is necessary. We crave to be SEEN online, to get “Likes” and clicks. None of this is new to us. But I do wonder how past generations would react to our “IN YOUR FACE” world.
I didn’t realize it was Daughter’s Day…so I missed it. I HAVE TWO AMAZING DAUGHTERS. My husband and I are blessed. Should I now search fo Son’s Day? We are also blessed with a son.
But I am not writing to say negative things about Facebook, Email, etc. I use both daily. They have created profound differences in our lives, in the ways we communicate with each other. And I do like to remember people’s birthdays… so now Blue Mountain does it for me. All I have to do is pick a card and it magically appears in my friend’s email. Impersonal? I have a dear friend who would say YES. She still mails her cards. I applaud that.
BUT LET’S GO BACK…
My Dad died early on. My mother supported we three kids working for an insurance company in downtown Chicago. First, she worked at home: my father died when we were 6, 3 and three months.
Later, she took the Rock Island into downtown Chicago and yes, we were latchkey kids. But: IT WORKED OUT. Just a short walk to our grammar school. Then for high school, John and later Bill took a train or a bus downtown. I had a two mile walk…which you can handle when you meet up with your girlfriends and chat. But in the winter, there was often a parent who volunteered to get us there absent of frost-bite. We’re talking Chicago winters. But how did we get home? I really don’t remember…parents working. Maybe we took the bus partway. Maybe a mother left her younger kids to get us. All I know is none of us every got frost-bite.
HONORING RELATIONSHIPS: BUT IS THERE A LIMIT?
I think it is wonderful, fun and now a permanent thing…that on Facebook we share our family relationships. As I write this: it’s Daughter’s Day, which I missed. But my daughters will forgive me. There is so much we are SHARING. So much we wish to HIGHLIGHT! And yes, I’m often right there with everyone else.
But here’s the thing…in our world of photos and brief remarks…let us not forget the LENGTH of our relationships. What do I mean? I’m referring to those times when mothering or fathering can be a struggle. When we are not always certain of what to say or do when a daughter or a son is experiencing a LIFE CHANGE..when there is sadness instead of joy; confusion instead of certainly.
Maybe we should think of it this way: there isn’t a Hallmark Card for every emotion. AND THERE IS SOMETHING CALLED PRIVACY. Because maybe our adult children or our teens don’t want us posting a photo, sharing every experience they are having.
BECAUSE: the very presence of the ability to do so, does not give us permission to just go ahead. Privacy is a gift. Holding on to a sorrow, a life change need not be presented to your “FRIENDS”….a word that we have taken and stretched to a length we never thought would happen.
FINAL THOUGHT
So the next time I think of “sharing” something, I will stop and question whether my instinct to do so is a good one. Life is not one big Hallmark moment. It is also privacy, careful thought, a phone call that means more than a post. Because it is often good to LIVE our LIVES within certain parameters. And I too need to remind myself: privacy can be a gift. P.S. Permission granted.
2 Responses
I purposely do not try to get on my son’s social media. We all really need some privacy. I’ve seen, over the years, some bad examples of oversharing. Of course, it’s possible with texts and visits, too. I try not to share much on social media because it has become a prime arena for spammers and worse to operate and the more you share, the easier their job (so to speak) is. Sad that we have to think like that, isn’t it.
I agree there is a staggering amount of oversharing and overreaching on social media, and the fun of it becomes lost in the cringyness. I try to be mindful of my family and friends when I share, and I’ve taken down a couple of photos that, to my surprise, were uncomfortable for a friend or family member. Like all things, a bit of mindfulness and balance can make all the difference between cringy and fun.