What I question, and would love your thoughts concerning…is that as we age, why does our ability to accept physical change ie aging and illness, become even harder? Is it the long span of health, independence, the years of perfect functioning that disallows us to acknowledge that we are mortal? As Wordsworth wrote in Intimation of Immortality, maybe children do arrive in this world: But trailing clouds of glory do we come From God, who is our home…
Or is it because children do not have as firm a stake in the world as we adults. Throughout life, all of us must compensate, adapt. Sometimes it is only for a short while. Other times, it is longer, even forever.
At the age of five, after eye surgery, I had to wear bandages on both eyes, but only for a week.
A friend of mine developed MS, Multiple Sclerosis, her ability to compensate and adapt now coloring her entire life. If you lose an arm, you are still the same person…that hasn’t changed your heart and soul, but it has changed the way you function, and how people see you.
If we have scars from a traffic accident or a fire–we are integrally the same person, who now must struggle with this loss, working through an adjustment, desiring to be the same, but also learning how to accept and live with these changes in the real world.
But am stating it correctly? Does physical, outer change affect us internally? Because it is terribly wrong to label someone, but is the speaker who might label someone trying to distance him or herself from what might some day happen to them? Because we all have human, deep-seated fears. And do we instinctively know that our bodies are fragile?
OUR BODIES, OUR SELVES
From the beginning, we crave distance from the pain and suffering of others. As a child, I didn’t realize I could give pain to someone else when I wanted to look away from them, simply because they were changed, because they didn’t look like people in my family…they had lost a limb or were scarred in some way. But YES, I grew to see their strength…and then there was Chris.
The son of my close friend, Chris was only seven when burned in a house fire, flown by helicopter to the best place in Chicago for his care, the Northwestern Burn Center, where he was immediately treated for the burns over large portions of his body. I don’t remember the exact percentage, but it was frightening.
Chris went through months of necessary but also incredibly painful procedures to deal with his burns. Was he permanently scarred? Yes. For months after, he had to wear pressure garments to reduce scaring. Kids made fun of him, but strength grew in Chris. Over time, he left the pain of denial, moving to acceptance. And Chris moved so far into accepting his scars, that he forged a new life…Chris and I attended nursing school together, graduated together…and yes, for a time, worked the same Chicago hospital together.
BUT WHY DO WE STARE, WHY DO WE MAKE UP JOKES?
After being an English teacher, then wanting to go into nursing, I had to question why my choice was so strong. Was it something I just had to do? My father dying of a heart attack when I was three: one reason. Early adulthood chest pain that led to doing research, another. It opened my eyes to the world of medicine.
And maybe I found my way into nursing so that I would better understand human reactions, that we often fail to accept those who have physical and medical issues.
Nursing helped me to become more open and accepting, and thus I learned to believe that no matter the shape of our body, the losses or problems we might live with, each of us deserves the acknowledgement of being a whole and full human being.
Over time, I also learned not to run and open doors for the handicapped, unless explicitly asked to do so. And I cannot forget the day I approached a blind man, telling him the usual entrance to the mall was blocked by decorations. He whirled on me, told me he knew exactly where he was going. In that moment, I realized I had invaded his space, and thus had not treated him as an equal…I was wrong.
So do we take for granted our bodies, how to care for them? Yes, we do. Take care of yourself…your body is a gift.
Thanks to Artistic Anatomy for the lovely art.
