WRITING AGAINST THE WINDS OF CHANGE

“Because it’s life” or “That’s just life” …words said by people you love, people you are close to…words of regret, said as fact concerning what they are dealing with.

But it’s a very different matter when they say it about what YOU are dealing with.

In the first case, you might want to help this person, be sympathetic to their current problem. You’re eager to suggest they make some change in their lives, that they not give up.  You might even list steps to solve their problem. But if they say little or nothing, you feel that yes, it’s possible they have already given up.

But what if these same words are said by you. This time it is YOU dealing with sorrow, change, loss…you who often feels unheard, alone, others failing to notice, care about your pain, and thus not offering help.   

Because it is always all about LIFE…the bottom line…that LIFE can be difficult, bring sorrow and changes that can truly make you want to give up.

But as humans…we also know there has to be acceptance in our lives, but how much, and when. A family member is very ill. One of your adult children is dealing with a health issue, but is miles away. Your husband just had major surgery…and some person says they wish they were the one in pain. So easy to say words that are truly not honest. But WE ARE HUMAN. We are not saints, and thus it is never our wish to suffer.

As a child, I was afraid to grow up. Attending a Catholic school, I did not want to be a saint, have some apparition appear to me, suffer pain…I didn’t want any of that. 

SOLUTIONS? 

How do we cope with these human events? I found one way…I write. Or at the very least, I have ideas as to WHAT I want to write. 

Example: A woman lies in bed seeing the burning moon, feeling the soft bed sheets, her husband beside her. She is thinking about the marigolds she planted in the her garden, the strange man who likes to park his car in front of her house…who is he, what does he want. And because of these and other thoughts, she is unable to sleep. Still, she lies there, struggling, pushing wonder, sorrow away.

Then one night, she gets up, writes down all these thoughts. Because though she finds some of them confusing, hard to express …she realizes there is turmoil in her life…or she believes that there is. And over time, she finds it helpful to write down her feelings, worries, to let whatever comes to her mind appear on the page. And the title of what she writes: 

BEGINNINGS 

Writing is part of my DNA…I truly believe this. And with the internet and computers it is now facile and even easier to write. But that wasn’t always the case. So a question: have any of you reading this saved a paper you wrote in high school?

I ask, because I taught high school English and often assigned papers. Oh yes, groans, moans….immediately. “Sorry, but at this level of your education you need to be able to at least write a letter (or now create one on your computer); you need to be able to express yourself if someone you love dies; or you’re applying for a job, trying to mend a relationship, asking a person who has succeeded in a pursuit you are curious about what steps you might also take…so many pursuits, goals, ideas we want to express in a letter, an email etc. THUS…WE NEED TO KNOW HOW TO WRITE!   

FINAL THOUGHTS 

Is is easier now…or is it harder? 

When there are changes in my daily life I find it very hard to find time to write. 

And actually being heard can often be a struggle, because now we are flooded with writers. Everyone is a writer. But that’s okay. We are rising up, using the winds of change and technology to express ourselves. Competition? Yes. Always.

But my constant thought: being able to sit down and express my joy or pain, my new idea or delete an old one….is a gift. It encourages me, encourage all of us to keep going. BECAUSE there is one thing we can always count on…change. Eternal change. Writing helps us deal with that, helps me, helps you to keep going. A note, a poem, a paragraph, a rant on FB. We are just doing our best. We are WRITING against the winds of change.