The Resounding Loss of the Quiet One

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I recently wrote about my brother Bill, who died after a long and difficult illness. Many of you wrote, celebrating Bill, who was well known for his success in the music business, and for being outgoing and eager to engage with anyone.

And now today, I write again, this time to celebrate Joan Havey, my husband’s younger sister, my sister-in-law, who died this week after years of dealing with breathing issues, that finally required she constantly be on oxygen. Few of you will know Joan, who did not use social media, and whose first love for her entire life was her family.

Joan was selfless, always eager to engage, she being totally grateful for her life and her family. When John and I were married, Joan was one of my bridesmaids, loving the dress, loving the ceremony and everything about it. Later, she again participated in the weddings of her siblings, and would probably have smiled in gratitude if someone said “always the bridesmaid, never the bride.” Because Joan LOVED her family, and all through her life, they continued to be EVERYTHING to her.

Joan attended and graduated from the same high school I did. Thus, in early days, when her father drove her to school and saw me walking, my future father-in-law would stop and pick me up, especially if it was cold and snowing. But during school hours, I rarely saw Joan, she being a freshman when I was a junior. And because Joan had scoliosis that was never repaired, her later years required that she be on oxygen, this contributing to her living at home. But before that, Joan lived her life, worked at Marshal Fields in downtown Chicago, and traveled to England and other parts of Europe with a close friend.

But in her later years, breathing became more and more difficult, narrowing down Joan’s ability to leave her oxygen supply. BUT SHE NEVER COMPLAINED.

Joan Marie Havey died this past week, many of her siblings and nieces gathered around her. In the coming days, the family will celebrate her life, all of us forever grateful for the courage she showed, the spirit and love she always had for anything concerning her family.

GOD SPEED, JOAN….we love you, we miss you, all 130 of us, Beth.