My brother Bill Pfordresher died this year, and now that it is Father’s Day once again, I remember this story. It is an eternal story, part of our family, part of our lives.
We were a family of five…until my father died of a massive coronary at the age of 45, leaving my mother Jinni with a six, three and three-month old, Bill. And though this was truly part of his very early life, Bill gradually learned about fathers, and thus began to ask why he didn’t have one…later, hearing more family conversations, asking if he did have a father, had he gone to heaven? Certainly, Bill was hearing those words in our home, and being wise for his age, only three or four, he was trying to figure things out.
So one day (our mother said she was ironing in the kitchen) Bill came in with a question: “Mama, did he take a bus?”
In our family, the story is legend, because our wise and amazing mother Jinni, knew exactly what Bill was asking. She also knew the importance of truth…that it is linked to trust. And that very day, Jinni did what she had done with John, who was six when our father died, and later with me who had been only three…she drove Bill to the cemetery, doing her best to explain heaven, death, sorrow and love…loving attempts to help a child understand where his father had gone.
REUNIONS
And now it is only days since Bill died and left us…the youngest of the three, life unpredictable, life always a pattern of sorrow and joy. Surely Jinni our mother, and Al our father….were there to great him. Surely, Bill no longer has questions, his body free of the weight of illness…his new life one of peace and understanding.
Bill did not take a bus…but after enduring illness and death…he is now free to live beyond human bonds. We miss him, cry for him. He taught us how to love, to have faith, to sing when you are sad, to always look for joy and happiness.
Bill was a gift of joy to Rita, his wife, to me, my brother John, my mother and so many others. Now he is with both of his parents and many friends who went before him. I like to think there are guitars in heaven, Bill will once again finding freedom and joy as his fingers create new and heavenly music.
PS This post is only normal in length…it being impossible to include all aspects of Bill’s amazing and wonderful life.
17 Responses
You speak so lovingly of your brother. You were blessed to have him in your life for so many years, and he was blessed to have such a loving sister.
Thanks, Marilyn, it means a lot to share my love of Bill with others. His ending was difficult…certainly a disease he did not deserve. Life is often confusing. Bill was a treasure, Beth
Thanks, Marilyn. He was THE BEST!! Beth
Beth, your memories of your brother Bill and Jinni are wonderful. Thank you for sharing them. Love to all of you. Ann
Thanks so much, Ann. I miss him so. He was a gift in my life, Beth
Beautiful story. Beautiful remembrance and tribute to your brother and parents. Life truly is a mixed bag. I hope you find peace and healing in the days ahead.
Thanks Pennie, your words mean a great deal, Beth
Beth, this is so beautiful. You have a remarkable family and I love the notion that Bill is reunited with his departed loved ones and free of a body that no longer served him. All my sympathy to those left behind.
Thanks so much, Laurie. You are a wonderful friend, Beth
I am so happy for him, Beth! He got to go! He’s well again and with your amazing parents!
But I’m so sad for you who will be missing him! ❤️
The reunions on the other side of the veil must be epic!!!
Oh Diane, I do believe in that reunion. Hugs and miss you. Let me know when you get home, Beth HAVE FUN!!!
How lucky you were to have such a special and loving relationship with your brother.
Carol, you are so right…and thank you for your message, Beth
I’m so sorry for your loss, Beth. Losing a brother is so hard. But I’m happy to read your beautiful memories and know him and you a bit. Sending you love and sympathy.
Thanks, Rachel, for your beautiful words, we writers are often helped by writing. Hugs, Beth and
Not only were you blessed with Bill as a great brother, but you were also so fortunate to have a loving and wise mother who, in spite of losing her husband at an early age, did a wonderful job raising three successful children.
Marilyn, thank you so much for your kind comment. And yes, Jinni will always be in our hearts as she was strong, loving and knew what we needed
without making us weak, but helping us grow to be strong. Ah life.